Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Travel nightmare


I am back to China. I have been traveling intensively during the last two months and I am getting tired of the long lines at the airports. It is really annoying. I know that security comes first, but traveling by plane is getting close to being a nightmare.
I predict that the recent changes in the security procedures (no liquids allowed, no hand luggage permitted in some airports, etc.) will lead to major changes in business traveling.
I forecast that business men and woman will go to the airports totally naked and proceed through a special walk-through X-Ray screening that will explore “real-time” every hidden cavities in their (our) bodies (copies of the X-Rays will be e-mailed to the traveler’s doctor in anticipation of the yearly physical after being processed by an early cancer detection software that would flag suspicions results). As you can imagine, this will create substantial changes to our morality, especially in USA, where being topless on a beach is perceived as depravation (at least in New England).
Airline lounges would be converted into artificial beaches with artificial sun, sand and swimming pools with real waves. For the puritan, blinders will be provided to prevent them from looking to other people.
On the more technical side, every business class and economy plus seat will have a built in computer connected to the world wide web. Since no electronic devices will be allowed on board, all business applications will have to be web browser accessible (so your Lotus Notes should be viewed through a web enabled application) and at the end of the session, you should send the result of your work to yourself, since not even memory sticks will be allowed in the airports.
Personally I miss the times when the family could see you off at the gate, you could arrive at the airport 30 minutes prior to departure and you would still make it and you did not have to take off your jacket, shoes or any other thing before boarding a plane. All this is history.
When I fly back on Saturday, I will try just wearing a thong. Let’s see what happens (and NO, the one on the picture is NOT me either).

2 comments:

Habibi said...

What you say is very interesting and nice. Though, I wish that was for any other reason than for the one it would be.
When I travel I don't like to carry things. But I have to. My iPod, a book, a notebook, all those kind of things.

Ale said...

this is a HUGE problem, i usually do my complete make-up routine an hour before arrival so when I step of the plane I look like i've just walked out of a SPA not an 8 hour sit-down in an oxygen deprived container.... NOW.... i dont know what the heck i'll do... i guess i'll have to use chanel non liquid based makeup. hmmm...

that's hillarious ian- a thong!?