Monday, October 23, 2006

Fuck yourself on the right hand side

I have spent the last 8 days in Europe (Stuttgart, Saronno, Barcelona and now Amsterdam). While in Barcelona, I was exposed, once again, to the scatological and sexual connotations of Catalans politics, especially now that we are getting closer to election day.
I have to apologize once again for introducing to you so much dirty stuff, but Catalan politics are dirty. Thanks God, we do not have (yet) any child molester among the political elite, but we have pretty much everything else: politicians that go the Full Monty, actors that shit on the establishment, politicians' wives that refer to their political opponents as sons of a bitch, and so on.
The last addition to the list has been the most recent campaign by the Eco-socialist youths. They intended to promote the vote for the left by discrediting the right. So they started a campaign that included distributing condoms with what they thought was the printed Catalan phrase “Fuck the right”. However, those responsible for the ads had as much bad taste as they have lack of knowledge of the Catalan language (pretty popular among Catalan politicians who deny trilingual education to the kids, but who can hardly speak two Catalan words without making a grammar or vocabulary mistake). Instead of writing “Fuck the right” (Folla’t la dreta), they wrote “Fuck yourself on the right hand side” (Folla’t a la dreta), because independently of the willingness or not of the one who is being forced to the intercourse, ‘fuck someone” both in Catalan and English is a transitive verb and you “fuck the right” and not “to the right”, unless you have an asymmetrical penis.

The campaign has been since withdrawn, not because of its bad taste, but because of the grammatical blunder.

I promise, this is the last dirty post of the series, if the Catalan politicians allow.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Catalan national teams (II)

The soccer game between the Catalan and Basque “national” teams took place last Sunday. It went well, about 60 thousand people attended the match, it was peaceful and everyone pretty much said what he/she wanted to say, a good sign of freedom of expression. The final score 2-2 did not matter at all, especially to me, since I do not like soccer (at least, I thought so).
But it you ask me, are you for the Catalan national teams? The answer is simple: Yes and No.
Yes, for those sports where Catalonia is a world power, where the Spanish national league is a Catalan league with just one or two Spanish teams dancing around. That is the case of roller hockey or grass hockey. In this case, making use of the status of Catalonia as a stateless nation, I think it is justified to have Catalan national teams playing in international competitions, no matter what Madrid thinks.
No, for those sports where Catalonia itself is not willing to abide by the rules. In order to have a national team, the requirement should be (and it is for soccer) that that particular country has its own league. I do not think that Catalans will bite the bullet and organize a Catalan soccer league, where Barcelona FC would play against Ripollet or Cardedeu, thus turning down the lucrative matches like Barcelona vs. Madrid, Seville or Valencia.

As I mentioned in my previous, the commercial - promoting Sunday's game against the Basque region - began airing in Catalonia last week but a Barcelona judge ordered the suspension Thursday. The ad showed children picking teams for a soccer game. One boy, dressed in a red jersey symbolizing the Spanish national team, refuses to let a boy wearing the Catalonian team's shirt play - unless he removes his jersey. The boy takes off his shirt and other children then remove theirs in solidarity. Then the slogan, "a country, a team," then flashes on screen.
A group, calling itself Right to Decide, urged fans to endorse the commercial by removing their shirts when players entered the stadium.
Using a high tech satellite camera, I decided to check whether any fans would follow the group’s request. I was successful enough to take one satellite picture of one of the fans that decided to follow. Since then, I have decided that I may start to like soccer and we should delay the decision on Catalan national teams for a couple of years, as long as the fans continue to show their support in a similar fashion.
What you are unable to see on the picture is what the woman had tattooed on her back:“If I was the size of Albert Rivera’s, I would also cover them with my hands,”

Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 06, 2006

Catalan national teams

Spain has done everything possible to suppress the Catalan and Basque country national teams. This weekend Catalonia is playing an "international" soccer match against the Basque country.
Spain would have no problems to play against Wales, Scotland or even the disputed colony of Gibraltar, but it would never agree to play against Catalonia.

The pro Catalan national team movement, created the enclosed TV ad to support the Catalan team. The ad was banned yesterday by a judge. Judge by yourself.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Mas Inglés

I thought that Artur Mas was simply the typical kind of Catalan traitor (botifler) who had sold his soul to the devil (Zapatero) for personal political gains. This has happened many times throughout the history, that’s why Catalonia has gradually lost language, political rights and identity in the last 600 years.
This year, during the negotiations of the new Statute (Catalan Constitution), we lost a unique opportunity to take control of our future, by managing our taxes, the infrastructural investments, harbors and airports. The only so-called win is that we are a nation in the introduction of the law, but not in the body.
This week Artur Mas has also demonstrated that, in addition of being a “botifler”, he is also a moron. Apparently he also believes (like me) that Catalans need to be trilingual (congratulations!), but his methodology slightly differs from mine.
As you well know, I am a proponent of trilingual education where Catalan and Spanish are used to teach most of the subjects (in a 50/50 approach) and English is introduced pretty early with the objective that kids leave highschool mastering Catalan and Spanish and being very fluent in English.
Artur Mas has a “better” approach. He is proposing tax deductions for those who have a certificate proving that they speak another language. Great idea! Young kids will put a lot of effort to learn a third and forth language at school, because they know that when they grow up, they will get a tax deduction. Do not tell me that this idea is not bright!
You can also imagine the future growth of a black market of language certificates for languages that no one can verify (Tibetan, Upper Sorbian, Urdu, Uripiv, Urum or Ute) that will funnel their revenues to the Catalan political parties and their leaders.
I am already making plans to go back to Catalonia. With all my languages, most probably I will not have to pay any tax, I may even get back the taxes I paid in the 80s.
The true reality is that both the Catalan and the Spanish governments have failed to resolve the education issue in Catalonia and Spain. The OCDE ranked the Spanish education system as one of the worst in the whole organization. The Spanish teachers are the better paid, kids spend the longest hours at school, but the results are the worst with the highest number of drop-outs.
This is an area where the Catalan government could have made a difference, since it has full responsibility in the area of education, but it has not. The entrepreneurship that characterized Catalonia is gradually disappearing, and we are more and more immersed in the sea of Spanish mediocrity. And between a mediocre independent Catalonia or a mediocre Spain (with a mediocre Catalonia as part of it), I would chose the latter. As we say in Catalan, the more we are, the more we will laugh. However if by managing our own future, we can make a quantum leap in our development, starting with a very robust education, elimination of corruption, reviving the entrepreneurship, etc, then we are in business and my nationalistic spirit will arise from the ashes like the phoenix.

I attach some video clips that prove that, contrary to popular belief, Spanish leaders (famous and infamous) have reached a mastery of the English language beyond expectations. They would, at least, qualify for a 20% tax deduction.

The Dictator: